You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
