well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
