You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You're like the curious george of whores
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
