Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
If that was your dad, he is hot
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
