I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
