i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
