12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize