I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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