it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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