Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
50% drunk capacity currently
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
