Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
