you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
