I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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