all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize