do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
