butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
