They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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