found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
