A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
