Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
