I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
