idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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