Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
