every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
