do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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