That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
