So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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