We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This is the high leading the old right now
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
