physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I love having hate sex.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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