erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
