wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
