Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Im part way to drunk.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
