No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Randomize
