As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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