he wants to bone in the snuggie
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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