I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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