I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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