how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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