You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
