come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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