You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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