He is such a slut. More and more my type.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
we're making bets on your personal life
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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