I cannot find my penis.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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