I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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