I wish I could punch you in the face.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
