I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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