I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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