Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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