dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
BRING THE BAGELS
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
