nut hugger
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
