Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Drake has all the answers
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize