you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She is in my trunk
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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