Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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