Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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