We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
