Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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