If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
