after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
