Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
