We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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